Meet the team:
Head coach: McCloud
Grumpy tracksuit-wearing Scottish World Cup winner (yes that happened apparently) and the man in charge of picking the team. Although he only has eleven llamas to choose from so it isn’t that hard.
Assistant coach: Tim Gravy
The heart and soul of the team. Tim’s passion drives the whole of Llama United forward. In football terms you would call him the ‘engine room’. Not a bad reserve keeper either.
Physio: Cairo Anderson
Cairo knows everything about most animals, but llamas have become his speciality since he joined the team. Hates animal cruelty and dreams of leading an army of elephants to tackle ivory poachers.
Fitness coach: Tina ‘Beetroot’ Gravy
Without Beetroot’s intense training regimes Llama United would be a bunch of slow and lazy good for nothings. Now they are fitter than most top international players.
Digital manager: Monica Gravy
Queen of Llama United websites and social media. Hit her up on Snapchat.
Transport & chief financial worrier: Frank Gravy
Frank drives Llama United to matches, he also tries to sort out all the money stuff. But that’s only interesting if you are an accountant or a banker.
Team president: Fiona Gravy
The best person at everything (she made me type this)
A magnificent beast, tall and strong. Covered in thick black hair from the bottom of his legs to the top of his head. Rarely moves and isn’t that interested in football, but will stop at nothing to protect Motorway.
Not technically a goalkeeper, but very much part of the goalmouth activity. A sheep of very high standing and one that loves noise and the adulation of the crowd.
Grey, large black patch on body. Biggest and cleverest defender. Best at heading. He’s the leader at the back and takes himself very seriously. Gets angry if others make a mistake.
Grey, four black patches on body. Second biggest defender, but not as clever as Brian. Bit clumsy, which makes him bit of a fouler . . . probably does most of the biggest poos.
Grey all over, no patches. Doesn’t seem to be that confident, always stays close to Brian. Brilliant dribbler. Likes looking at his own reflection in the water trough, because he has such an amazing haircut.
Grey all over, with black ears and chin. Runs with his tongue hanging out. Excellent at slide tackles. Really enjoys himself when playing, seems really cheerful.
Sandy coloured all over, four white socks, small, fast and really good at crossing. Loves to run at defenders and beat them for skill.
Sandy coloured all over, two white socks on front feet, small, fast and really good at crossing. Green eyes. Great positional awareness, always seems to arrive at exactly the right place at the right time.
White with a black flash across his nose. Strong tackler, good at passing, tricky feet. Will eat anything.
White, no flash across his nose. Strong tackler, good passer, powerful shot. The tough silent defensive midfielder of the team. Bit of a beard.
Brown and white, incredibly tall, powerful neck, great at headers. Always holds his head high like he’s posh. Has a high opinion of himself.
Totally white with a light grey flash across his nose, ugly teeth sticking out over his bottom lip. Sparkly eyes bit too close together. Best shooter in the team, the one who’ll score all the goals.
(Illustrations by Sarah Horne)