Meet the team:

McCloud - Llama United

Head coach: McCloud

Grumpy tracksuit-wearing Scottish World Cup winner (yes that happened apparently) and the man in charge of picking the team. Although he only has eleven llamas to choose from so it isn’t that hard.



Tim Gravy - Llama Unied


Assistant coach: Tim Gravy

The heart and soul of the team. Tim’s passion drives the whole of Llama United forward. In football terms you would call him the ‘engine room’. Not a bad reserve keeper either.




Cairo Anderson - Llama United


Physio: Cairo Anderson

Cairo knows everything about most animals, but llamas have become his speciality since he joined the team. Hates animal cruelty and dreams of leading an army of elephants to tackle ivory poachers.


Tina Gravy - Llama United



Fitness coach:  Tina ‘Beetroot’ Gravy

Without Beetroot’s intense training regimes Llama United would be a bunch of slow and lazy good for nothings. Now they are fitter than most top international players.


Monica Gravy - Llama United


Digital manager: Monica Gravy

Queen of Llama United websites and social media. Hit her up on Snapchat.





Frank Gravy - Llama United


Transport & chief financial worrier: Frank Gravy

Frank drives Llama United to matches, he also tries to sort out all the money stuff. But that’s only interesting if you are an accountant or a banker.



Fiona Gravy - Llama United


Team president: Fiona Gravy

The best person at everything (she made me type this)


Ludo - Llama United


A magnificent beast, tall and strong. Covered in thick black hair from the bottom of his legs to the top of his head. Rarely moves and isn’t that interested in football, but will stop at nothing to protect Motorway.




Motorway - Llama United


Not technically a goalkeeper, but very much part of the goalmouth activity. A sheep of very high standing and one that loves noise and the adulation of the crowd.



Brian - Llama United



Grey, large black patch on body. Biggest and cleverest defender. Best at heading. He’s the leader at the back and takes himself very seriously. Gets angry if others make a mistake.


Bill - Llama United



Grey, four black patches on body. Second biggest defender, but not as clever as Brian. Bit clumsy, which makes him bit of a fouler . . . probably does most of the biggest poos.


Bob - Llama United



Grey all over, no patches. Doesn’t seem to be that confident, always stays close to Brian. Brilliant dribbler. Likes looking at his own reflection in the water trough, because he has such an amazing haircut.


Barcelona - Llama United



Grey all over, with black ears and chin. Runs with his tongue hanging out. Excellent at slide tackles. Really enjoys himself when playing, seems really cheerful.


Dasher - Llama United




Sandy coloured all over, four white socks, small, fast and really good at crossing. Loves to run at defenders and beat them for skill.

Lightning - Llama United



Sandy coloured all over, two white socks on front feet, small, fast and really good at crossing. Green eyes. Great positional awareness, always seems to arrive at exactly the right place at the right time.


Cruncher - Llama United



White with a black flash across his nose. Strong tackler, good at passing, tricky feet. Will eat anything.



Smasher - Llama United



White, no flash across his nose. Strong tackler, good passer, powerful shot. The tough silent defensive midfielder of the team. Bit of a beard.


The Duke - Llama United


The Duke 

Brown and white, incredibly tall, powerful neck, great at headers. Always holds his head high like he’s posh. Has a high opinion of himself.




Goal Machine - Llama United

Goal Machine

Totally white with a light grey flash across his nose, ugly teeth sticking out over his bottom lip. Sparkly eyes bit too close together. Best shooter in the team, the one who’ll score all the goals.




(Illustrations by Sarah Horne)